At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
