My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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