fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
too bad you live with your parents still
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
