Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
