Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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