I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
