I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
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we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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