Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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