Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
