The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
