You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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