I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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