I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
