ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
