I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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