and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
