I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have tasted many bathrooms
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
