Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
