You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
