For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
