HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
