I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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