is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
