You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
