I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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