I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
