i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
