There is no way he is gay with that hair.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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