Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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