I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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