Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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