You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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