That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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