the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
