I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize