We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
