She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
