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Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Boobs are out for the taking
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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