Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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