You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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