How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize