remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
