I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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