I heard we made out
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
