1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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