hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wish my penis had a tongue
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
