He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
