Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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