u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
