I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
