i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
